Cannibals

The Hell Cave dips back into the bedrock, a wide, black throat with a small constriction in the back, marking the  trace of a fault. Anyone with balls enough could squeeze through that passage for an additional forty feet. So I was told; I do not have the balls. 

THE SEND

Cannibals starts on two undercling crimps on a large protruding roof. A difficult V8/9 boulder problem guards the start. It took me several weeks of literally throwing myself around on those beginning moves before they became somewhat reliable. 

On November 17th of 2016, I executed the first two moves off the underclings, placed my right foot and kicked, throwing my hand up toward the scabrous pocket. The force of the kick threw my body several feet so that my outstretched hand just reached the next handhold. 

VEGANS FROM HELL

"Vegans" is an easier variation to Cannibals. Do the same start moves, following Cannibals for the first 1/3rd of the route, then break left into easier climbing. That summer, I kept falling around the same spot midway up the route. My finger tips kept greasing off the tiny, insecure hand holds.   

Trying to pull the moves of the middle crux from the ground.
PHOTO CREDIT: JEFF SKALLA

One day, Colin Hale and I hiked up to the cave and found someone had built a pentagram with stacked rocks. It was a little eerie, but we joked around and even added a few touches to make it more legit. I sent Vegans From Hell (5.13c) that day. Part of me wonders if I unwittingly sold my soul in exchange for the send. I was unable to repeat the route for a few months afterward, which affirmed my superstition!

TRAINING

One great method we to get stronger was to climb the hardest sequences of our route several times in a session. We paused on each move for 5-10 seconds with our leading hand hovering inches above the next hold without grasping it. This torturous method doesn't just make you stronger, but holding an extremely difficult position for several seconds forces you to fine-tune your body position for maximum efficiency. A few laps of this, and your body knows the most cost-effective way to execute the moves, minimizing energy output. As my buddy Jackson would say, "Smarter--not harder."

My hands tended to look pretty terrible after an evening of training.
PHOTO CREDIT: ANDY EARL.

Once I was too tired to run fitness laps on Cannibals, I would pick a slightly easier route that I had done many times previous and train for an additional lap or two. "Burning" 5.13b.
PHOTO CREDIT: JEFF SKALLA.

THE SEND

I did not stick the pocket on my first try that day. I fumbled, fell, lowered to the start and tried again--after re-chalking my hands. No big loss. I stuck the pocket my second try and pushed through the next few moves. Big lunges, awkward throws and then I was reaching into a desperate undercling. This was the sequence that had invariably spit me off over the last few months. From the undercling, I made the devious moves from a tiny two-finger handhold to a slightly better three-finger hold. I was breathing rhythmically, like a runner, but my breaths were deeper, increasing my focus with each inhale. Then my only foothold slipped. My fingers strained against the insecure handholds as my lower body fell away from the roof of the cave toward the ground. I managed to keep my core tight, replacing my crucial foothold. I pulled up so hard on the three-finger crimp that I brought my face level with the jug that was normally a desperate lurch! 

I had made it past the hardest part, but I still needed to climb through a 5.13b crux and a 5.12c/d crux before I could claim the send. Between the two cruxes I could get an excellent no-hands-rest by cranking my knees against the inside of a crack in the roof of the cave. The first obstacle was a blank section of wall with no features excepting a tiny pocket that fit just two fingers. I punched through the cryptic sequence of moves, dispatching the 5.13b crux smoothly while the pump in my forearms surmounted. I pulled up into the roof crack and leaned back into an inverted hang. I hung upside down there for a few minutes, letting the pump settle out of my forearms.

Hanging from the double-knee-bar before the final moves out the lip of the cave.
PHOTO CREDIT: ZAC EDDINGTON.

 STANDARD THUMB

Earlier that same day, I was feeling cooped up. My wife and kids were off shopping with friends. I was alone with nothing to do.

I jumped in my car and drove up Little Cottonwood Canyon. Before I consciously made any decisions, I was parked below a prominent feature called "The Thumb". A roughly 800' tall fin of granite capped by a squat tower, resembling aforementioned body part. The Standard Thumb (5.7) is the most common route taken to the summit. I had never climbed the route before. I took a picture of the guidebook description with my phone for reference, and went jogging up the trail. I had a mind to be quick, it was only a few hours before I was supposed to meet up with my friends in the Hell Cave.

There was a little snow on the ground, but the route was in full sun and looked pretty dry. At the base, I put my climbing shoes on and started up. The first 6 pitches were fun and went by quickly. Steep scrambling accented by periodic "mini cruxes"; all the moves felt secure. I reached "Lunch Ledge" 35 minutes after leaving the car. From there, the route follows a wide crack up through a huge granite slab. I Climbed the 7" crack methodically and with great satisfaction. From there, a quick scramble lead me to the base of the squat tower that capped the formation. Moments later, I was on the summit. I felt incredibly elated and proud. I am no soloist. I like climbing with protection. Soloing scares the shit out of me. On a route like Standard Thumb, however, I felt like a lot of gear would have unnecessarily slowed me down, turning the climb into an awkward, slow-paced slog.

The descent took longer than planned but I was still very happy for the day's achievement: Car to car 2 hours and 12 minutes. I was pretty sure this was the fastest known time but since the Thumb isn't commonly climbed using fast climbing tactics, I figured it wasn't all that special.

Putting in over time on Cannibals. Once the sun set, we would bust out flashlights and light up the whole cave.
PHOTO CREDIT: JAMES SIMMONS.

 THE SEND

I hung there, blood pooling up in my head, visualizing the next sequence of moves. I needed to do them perfectly. If I messed up or tried too hard, the pump would overcome my grip on the rock and I would fall. Painfully close to the top of the route. I was worried that I had come all this way only to fall at the lip of the Hell Cave, one bolt away from the finish. I dipped my hands into my chalk bag, being careful not to spill, then grasped the lip of the crack with both hands and slipped my knees out.

I executed the cryptic sequence of moves with precision. I found myself at the lip of the cave, my hands were stacked atop each other on a descent crimp. I pulled and reached, came up short and pulled a little harder. I managed to reach a spot adjacent to the jug I was looking for. It wasn't as positive, but it was enough. I pulled through the last couple moves and hit the dirt-filled pocket that marked the finish.

Other notable ascents of 2016:

• Malvado (5.13a) American Fork Canyon
• Junkie Pride (5.13b) Rock Canyon
• Jug Abuse (5.13 b) American Fork Canyon
• Membrane Roof (5.13a) American Fork Canyon
• X (5.13a) American Fork Canyon
• Sad Rooster (5.13b) American Fork Canyon
• Demon Wizard Bat (5.13c) Second Ascent? American Fork Canyon
• Maverick (5.13a) Hindu Tower, Moab
• Pick of Destiny (M9?) Third Ascent. Provo Canyon